Generally speaking, people don’t like to feel unsafe. As a recovering adrenaline junkie myself, I know we like that excitement that comes from a certain amount of fear. But to be really scared – it’s uncomfortable. Let’s take a closer look at fear.
You’ve heard the quote
In Franklin D. Roosevelt’s first inaugural speech, he said “So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is…fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”
What’s really happening?
When something threatens our safety, we experience a bunch of reactions both physical and emotional. We redirect our energy to protect ourselves. When the fear is prolonged, it can be exhausting. It prevents us from enjoying ourselves and making progress on whatever goals we have.
An example
My cat Ringo has a condition which has been causing him to attack his own tail. For some reason, his tail is scaring him. The latest vet visit ended up with him coming home with a flexible cloth cone collar. It keeps him from seeing his tail. It’s been on him for over a week now, and so far he hasn’t tried to remove it.
It’s much harder to function with it
It took him a couple of days to be able to navigate through our home with it. It would get caught on corners, making it hard to get in and out of his litter box. He had to figure out how to approach his water and food bowls going straight down. The collar obstructs his field of vision so he walks like an elephant with his head swinging slightly to the left and right as he walks, so he can see more of where he’s going. It’s taking him a lot more effort and energy to go through his normal daily activities.
And yet?
But oddly, he seems to prefer having the collar on. He’s much calmer than he was before we got it. Now I’m not able to “know” why that is, but my best guess is that he prefers the extra effort of the collar to the fear he has without it.
I see this in people too
I see people doing the same thing in their lives. They work really hard to avoid what they fear. And that fear is based on our subconscious beliefs – we perceive that something is dangerous based on those beliefs, and in most cases, there is nothing inherently threatening us.
How does this show up?
There can be fear of success, fear of failure, fear of not being enough, fear of being seen or heard – there are so many things that can be scary. Then we spend tons of energy avoiding those conditions and results that threaten our sense of safety. Eventually, we may also start experiencing physical symptoms that are caused by all that stress.
Imagine…
What if the fear went away? What would you do? Who would you be? How would you feel? One of the ways I can be of service to people is to assist them in changing the beliefs that are causing that fear. If you want to know more, schedule a call – I’m always happy to talk with people about what they want to change and how I might be able to help.
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