Often, when people are asked about their priorities, they are then asked if the time they spend there is in agreement with those priorities. They sometimes discover that there is a discrepancy there. For instance, family may be at the top of your priority list, but that might not be where you spend the most time. I’ve got a slightly different question to ask: how do you prioritize your past, present, and future in terms of importance to you, and where do you “live”? Where do you spend the most time, energy, and effort?
Living in the Past
There are lots of ways people live in the past. They could spend time remembering happy events, wishing they were back at a certain time in life, or wondering what life would be like if they’d made a different choice. It’s natural to reflect on where we’ve been, the events we’ve experienced, and the relationships we’ve had.
Some people take it further than that, and spend a lot of energy in regret or resentment about their past. Some can even be obsessive about it. That energy can’t change what was. To me it feels wasted, unless you learn something from what happened so that you can apply that lesson going forward. And it’s definitely not serving you if it’s stressing you out.
Living in the Present
For me, being in the present is the same as being in the flow. I find focus, ease, and connection when I’m there. My most consistent time of being in the present is when I’m working with clients. It’s like time is standing still and all my energy is concentrated on helping my client discover what beliefs are creating the situation they want to change.
I try to notice other times where I’m fully present, and appreciate being able to just experience whatever I’m doing (or being) in the moment. But it’s really easy for me to revisit the past and even easier for me to jump forward into the future. It’s a work in progress for me to be more consistently intentional about being in the now.
Living in the Future
Spending time in the future could mean paying attention to goals, making sure you take future needs into account when you make decisions, or anticipating something that’s coming up. I personally think people are happier when they have things to look forward to – I know I am. And as a semi-reformed planner, I’m more comfortable if I take the time to think through what I’m doing and have an outline, a checklist, a map – something to let me be confident that I’m on the right track.
I used to spend a great deal of time worrying, though. That – to me – is not a great use of my energy. Especially if those things aren’t in my control or influence. The worry doesn’t have any benefit, it creates stress, and half the time it’s focused on things that never even happen. I shared a post a while ago on Facebook from Bad Girl Art. It said “Worry is a misuse of imagination.”
Where would you like to live?
For me, I’d like to spend the majority of my time in the present so that I can just have the joy of being. I’d like enough time in the future to think about possibilities and what’s needed to achieve those, but not so much that I try to capture all the details. I want to enjoy the journey along the way. And I’d spend the least time in the past – just enough to appreciate both the good and the lessons, but not so much to dwell on regrets and grievances.
What about you? We get to choose what the “right” balance is for us – what would suit you? Can you rank these three in terms of importance to you? Does your time and energy consumption align with those priorities? Here’s something to consider – if you get stressed out spending time in the past or future, that probably means you’re either spending too much time there or you’re focusing on aspects that don’t serve you well.
Do you need help getting there?
Maybe you haven’t given much thought to this topic. Maybe you want to now. If so, once you know where you want to be, and where you are, it might be a simple thing to make the necessary adjustments yourself. But if that’s challenging for you, I’m happy to discuss your approach in a phone call. You can schedule one here.
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