Change Is Constant: What Are You Going To Do About It?

We all know change is constant. Why do so many people resist it? Why do they seem to be surprised by it? People will push back on it even when their current situation isn’t great. It’s so interesting. We intellectually know that “no change” means stagnation, that we are meant to grow and learn and evolve as humans. Change is the bridge that takes you from who you were to who you are becoming. It requires the release of some old, to make way for some new.

 

Open to Change?

Even people who embrace new experiences and are change enthusiasts can experience resistance when the change wasn’t chosen. And many of our changes are not things we’ve asked for. Even if we do choose them, there can still be a little anxiety about how it’s going to turn out.

 

Why the Stress?

There are probably an infinite number of reasons, but here are a few I’ve seen in myself and in clients:

• I won’t be safe (emotionally, physically, or spiritually)
• I won’t be successful at it
• I don’t know what it’s going to look like
• I might not be able to control it

 

What Is Stress?

In my opinion, stress is when we aren’t sure if we’ll be able to effectively deal with something. It’s not the event or the relationship itself, it’s the uncertainty of our ability to handle it ok. And “ok” can mean different things to different people. Think about the variety of ways people respond to a change in a plan. If it’s a minor change, we generally expect people to adjust accordingly, and yet we all know someone that gets thrown for a loop when things don’t go exactly according to the plan. Are they overreacting? Maybe. But their reaction is probably because of the subconscious beliefs they have about being in control, being safe, fear of the unknown, or something else that is creating that stress.

 

What’s Your Response?

Ideally we get to choose our response to each change (meaning we aren’t hijacked by subconscious beliefs). We can resist, accept, or embrace the new. Here are some ideas to help adapt with the least amount of energy and stress:

• Remember previous times when you were successful
• Spend time imagining desired outcomes for this change, maybe even do some role play if that’s appropriate
• Reframe that nervousness into excitement about the possibilities or at least curiosity
• Acknowledge what you do and don’t know about the change and fact check yourself
• Ask yourself what the worst outcome could be, see if you can accept that, then identify strategies that can make the outcome even better. (This is one of my personal favorites – I used to get disproportionately stressed about things that really weren’t that important. This reframe helped a lot with that.)
• Check your self-talk. Give yourself grace and encouragement as if you were talking to your best friend.

 

Want Some Support?

I’m asking the question again. Change is constant – what are you going to do about it? If you would like support navigating the changes in your life, schedule a call with me. I can help.