Over the last two weeks or so, I’ve had several unrelated conversations with people about evidence of success. The question is around how do you know it, when you get there? It hasn’t been unusual for clients to ask me how long it should take for them to notice a change, but this has a different twist to it – it’s more what should you look for as opposed to when it will happen. And it got me thinking.
How many sessions do I need?
Typically, when a client asks me how many sessions they will need, I explain that I don’t know how many beliefs are creating the block that they have, so I can’t predict how many sessions would be needed. I’m comfortable saying that phobias are generally only one session. I’ve also noticed that people with a history of trauma frequently need more sessions to make the changes that they want. But anything else is hard to know.
How long will it take?
Once they’ve had a session, they will sometimes ask when they should see a change. In the case of phobias, it’s usually immediate. Other situations can vary. Some physical symptoms like pain or immobility can go away quickly, while other conditions can take longer. I’ve seen some business changes show up pretty quickly (within a few days) while others have a slower path.
My First Basic Question
I always start a session with my clients by asking them “What’s going on, and what would you rather be experiencing?” Sometimes they need time to talk through that. They usually know what they’re trying to avoid, but often haven’t thought about what they really want.
An Additional Perspective
Even if you know what you want, defining a clear sign that you’ve gotten there involves a different way of looking at it. I think I need to add an additional question about what evidence they will need to see, in order to know when they get there. It seems obvious that if they can define what they want, they will know it when they get it. But there’s a difference between these two that I haven’t been paying attention to, and I think it will serve my clients better if they can articulate this for themselves.
Even Better!
Defining signs of progress along the way helps make the whole goal even clearer. I know several coaches who ask this question of their clients, and I think it’s an excellent practice. Because sometimes, people need to do this to get better clarity around their goal and measures of success.
Obviously…
It makes more sense for them to define what the change will look like themselves, instead of me giving them that answer. Because that is what really matters – that they see the change they want and know it when they see it. Often clients don’t even recognize that a change has occurred because they have forgotten what was going on before. Defining those milestones ahead of time would be a great way for them to recognize the difference.
As always:
If you are ready to make a change and to know it when you see it, schedule a time to talk with me about it. I’d love to help!
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