Setting the tone – it’s another way of saying you’re establishing a particular mood or character for something. It’s setting expectations or, as Abraham-Hicks calls it, segment intending. Doing this can make all the difference in your perception of an experience.
On the way
I recently went away for a long weekend. I don’t mind flying. I’m always excited about the trip itself, and don’t expect problems along the way, so I was in a mildly pleasant frame of mind on the way to the airport, and mostly just focused on what I needed to do to get to the gate. I was earlier than rush hour, so traffic was agreeable. The parking shuttle came right to my car as I parked, so no wait there.
Surprise #1
I was flying on an airline that has a strict policy that no one mans the counter until 2 hours before departure. That’s annoying – I’ve stood in line multiple times for quite a while when traffic or Ubers got me there earlier. But I was only 30 minutes early and was expecting to stand… it was such a happy surprise when I entered the terminal. I could see all the way at the end, there was a person behind that counter. The woman ahead of me and I shared how lucky we were as we moved forward in the line.
Surprise #2
I flew out the day after the government shutdown ended. All the TSA people we in a terrific mood (although I rarely have unpleasant encounters with them). And to top it all off, once the plane was fully boarded, I realized that I had one of the two empty seats next to me. Jackpot!!
What happened here?
My day started well. I noticed and appreciated that. And then it kept getting better. Surely you’ve had that happen for you as well. Good days get better. And the opposite seems to be true, too. When something goes wrong, that seems to be the beginning of a downward spiral where more things go wrong or become unpleasant.
What do you expect?
We tend to see what we are looking for. We have to filter out so much because if we noticed everything it would be overwhelming. Therefore, we only let in a limited amount of information. And our intentions act like an antenna – attracting our attention to what’s similar and ignoring what isn’t.
You’ve seen it in others
Surely you’ve noticed people in a similar situation reacting in completely different ways. I’ve seen it so many times. One person sees what’s going well and another focuses on everything that’s wrong. It’s probably due to what they were expecting. I know that’s what happens with me. And I prefer the feeling I have when things are going well – being irritated drains my energy.
Set the tone
You get to set the tone for your days and your experiences. Think about how you want it to go beforehand. Then look for evidence of that intention. If you’re chronically cranky or always expecting negative experiences (some say they do this to “avoid being disappointed”), this may take a little more time and effort. But you might be surprised at how much better you feel at the end of the day.
And as always…
If you can’t get there on your own, schedule a call. I bet I can help you turn this around if you want to.
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