Feeling like you are valuable – that you matter – is considered a human need. There are so many aspects to this. Self-worth is important. What makes you feel worthy?
Do you value yourself?
Different people use different attributes when evaluating themselves or others. How do you measure your worth? Maybe it’s some of the following:
- The amount of money you make or have
- The number of followers you have on your social media platform of choice
- How much you weigh
- The number of social engagements you have each month
- Your relationship status
- Your personal best record in your favorite athletic activity
- The grades you make on tests
- The clubs or associations that you belong to
- How successful others (partners, children, etc.) in your family are.
Or maybe it’s in a way that’s a little more subjective?
- The nature of your relationships
- How you feel at the end of the day
- The content of your self-talk
- Whether you feel proud of what you’ve done
- If you feel you’ve made positive differences in the lives around you.
The lists can go on and on, but it’s an important question. If there is shame or guilt or doubt about ourselves, we have low self-worth and life is really stressful. If we don’t know that we are worthy and enough, it’s hard to put ourselves out there.
Do you matter to others?
Not only is it important to value ourselves, but humans are also designed to need appreciation from others. It’s part of our make-up to want to be seen as contributing members of our groups – whatever those groups may be – family, work teams, organizations.
Have you ever been on a high-functioning team? It’s magical! Each person is respected, listened to, and appreciated for what they bring to the effort. The energies aren’t equal at any given point in time, and everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. But the beauty of teams like this is that the momentum keeps everything moving forward and each person has their own ways of contributing to the success. The enthusiasm on these teams is amazing and the results are better than the sum of what the individuals could do on their own.
I’ve also seen teams where there are members who are not valued. They are rarely heard. The work they do is under-appreciated. The direction is set by a few, and the rest of the team pretty much just follows along, but there’s no synergy. These teams don’t tend to produce the same quality of product or service, and certainly there isn’t that sense of camaraderie that the high-performing teams have.
The difference on the individual experience between these two teams is substantial. You can go home feeling pumped up about how your day went and full of ideas, or drained and relieved that this day is over. How do you want to spend your life?
What patterns do you recognize?
Feeling worthy is the second Truth in my book Your4Truths: How Beliefs Impact Your Life. Do you have a hard time feeling proud of what you’ve done? Do you have low self-worth? Is it uncomfortable to use the words “worthy”, “deserve” or “enough” when you’re talking about yourself? Or maybe you usually consider your own priorities to be less important than those of others? In the book, I discuss many ways the belief that you are not worthy can show up in your life. Buy the book and read more about it here.
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